with Pastors Dave & Alicia Rogers
Foundational Scripture:
John 13.35 ESV
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love [agape] for one another.”
The byproduct of a life in right relationship with God through Jesus Christ is love for one another.
•It almost seems too simple.
•Love is a choice, not a feeling … you cannot fall out of love, you have to stop choosing to love
Ephesians 5.22-26 ESV
•Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
•For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
•Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
•Husbands, love [agape] your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
[live for them, not die for them]
Submit and Submission do not mean “under the thumb”
•They mean mission under the mission.
•There is freedom in submission.
•First God, second spouse, third family, fourth anyone else [aka significant others]
Psychology [the study of the psyche or the ways of humankind] tells us there are some common traits all humans have. Psychology and Psychiatry work in generalities… they are not exact.
•There is a reason why they call it a “practice”.
“The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, c.2015
•Affirmation – compliments, saying nice things about the other person
•Quality Time – doing stuff together (not necessarily sex)
•Gifts – showing you care by giving things that matter (story: love is a baked sweet potato)
•Service – doing stuff for the other person (like filling the gas tank)
•Touch – the physical contact or physical presence of another; words may not be needed but touch is (not necessarily sex)
*No one is just one of these. Identify which ones are strongest and work on those.
*In the matter of sex: foreplay starts when you wake up and consider your spouse before yourself.
*Note on “Love Languages”: these are the things you did when you were dating. Keep doing these.
The 5 Greek Words for Love
•Philautia – love of self, also call Narcissism … chasing after your own desires first
•Eros – physical, passionate, sensual … chasing after what feels good with another
•Styrgos – family, kinship, relationship … the fondness for the connected group
•Phileo – brotherly or sisterly affection or fondness, fellowship
•Agape – love without expectation of return, loving someone just because they are, choosing them, preferring them over all else.
John 21.15 – Do you love me more than these?
•Jesus asked Peter this question 3 times
-Twice with “agape”, once with “phileo” •Peter answered 3 times with “phileo” … like a brother
Love your spouse like God loves you.
Give yourself to them.
Find out what they like and why: given them that.
Be like God to your spouse, to your family, and to those around you; love [agape] them.
Doc Rogers writes.... 